Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
