...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
