whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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