he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
did you just send me my own nude
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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