Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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