So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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