So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
