Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
wow bdsm is so cute
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
