Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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