i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
