Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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