I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't deserve a penis
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
