wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
