She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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