And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
