I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He better not be in your backpack
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
