Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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