in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
