I will die if light touches me.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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