Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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