She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
