We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
