I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
