4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
