Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
