Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
