if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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