I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
