I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
