This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
