apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
