What a fucking waste of an outfit
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
