He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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