i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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