Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
