I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
