Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No subtext here. People are naked.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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