Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
