What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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