can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
