My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize
