It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
