Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
