TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
