I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i've created a new STD.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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