I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize