if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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