dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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