do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
nutella sex= disaster
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
