Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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