so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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